House of Fun

James David Beard

Once a lunatic asylum, it stands high on empty moorland, desolate and long since abandoned, the huge mansion of an eccentric billionaire. The perfect haunted house, and Sir David Luxely has decided it should become one. He bought and then reconstructed much of the house to make it into an terrifying haunted house. He charged admission to the house, with the promise of a huge cash prize if anyone could make it to the topmost floor.

As yet, no one has. A great many have tried, and most have given up. Some have come out screaming, or trembling... or, so Sir David claims, not come out at all.

Possibilities

1     Nothing supernatural is happening in the house - it is simply a clever maze of very scary special effects. It is not possible, however, to win the prize - all the ways to the top floor have been blocked by brick walls. Sir David is sure to win his bet.

2     Sir David is far older than he seems. The original owner of the house, he is an undead entity kept alive by feeding on the energies in the emotions of living humans - and fear is best of all. He actually resides on the top floor of the house (entering and exiting by a well-concealed hidden shaft) and is able to absorb the fear of those attempting to navigate the house to sustain himself. His power does not harm those he feeds from, but gradually fatigues them, making the challenge to reach the top floor very difficult.

3     Sir David is quite insane. He has constructed the house to further his and others delight for death and murder. The whole structure is fitted with hidden cameras that allow him to watch the suffering of those who get past the scary (but harmless) lower floors. He was once a mythos sorcerer and has used his knowledge to turn the higher floors into an inescapable non-Euclidean labyrinth, populated by unspeakable shambling monsters that he has summoned.

Copyright (c) 2004 James David Beard

(The 'haunted house that pays you if you can survive it' is an enduring urban myth. Three or four such houses are claimed to exist in the US.)


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Tales of Terror

This tale has been written for Call of Cthulhu, the game of roleplaying in the worlds of HP Lovecraft. 

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